Hi all,

well, its that time of the year again, where season’s end, or begin in some places, and people start planning for the new year celebrations, in short, people are generally in celebratory mood around this time of the year. but there are some, whom Gus chooses to pick from the everlasting pool of His creations, where they are literally put to the sword. straight to the stomach, and dig deep. man, that hurts.

well, for starts, i’m one of them.

what started as a good week, began brilliantly by over working myself senselessly in the office, then the day i head out to pay my car installment, i get stopped by the tarik kereta guys, demanding that the car is to be pulled back. what the HELL???? with payments updated quite okay and all (i admit, got arrears, but not at danger level, and the bank notified). thank heavens for being an indian, and the tarik kereta crew were all indian makkals too, so, after some negotiating and lots of ais kosongs, somewhat came to an agreement to settle, but still, i had to impart with alot of money, got my cousin bro pissed off(he helped me wholeheartedly, but then again, somebody gonna get hurt today), and the thing is, it all happened like a flash of lightning, took my socks off that day. to compound all the misery for the day, i nearly met with an accident, nearly missing the divider high speed, blinded by what some may say "a dash of blurness due to sever case of, blurness under distress".

then the following weeks were quite fun too. got picked at work by the bosses (for no apparent reason, their excuse was just because i was there to receive their brunt of the frustrations. screw them!) followed by living like a broke beggar for the days to come, and the final straw, happened yesterday. and not to mention, my mum underwent an operation this morning, with whom i’ve been distancing somewhat rather impulsively (she came to know about a few details of my life that i would rather deal with alone). i prayed so hard that the op would be fine, and i was relieved that my sister would be by her side.

today, when i woke up, the day seemed somewhat strange.

not the usual bad hair day feeling, but a feeling of being lost. not a good feeing to have, but then again, i think i have the rights to feel that way.

2 1/2 years ago, it was a couple of hours, 3 hours + i think. now, yesterday, 40 mins. you do the math, i do the crying bit.

looks like i didn’t go guns blazing after all, sorry sukhu, but i was just awestruck.and dumbfounded. and, just simply confused.

so, i’ll retreat to my shell, again. and come out the way i should be…changed…dunno if for the better or worse, but then again, Gus, we made a deal, remember? you keep your promise, i keep mine.

cheers everyone…enough rantings for the day.

plain ol dissapointed joe.