coming through! coming through!
these words echoed against the white walls of the Forensics Unit, when they first brought the wodden box that will soon be his final resting place. it was a day i will never forget, and that is one face i’m not going to erase out of my mind.
it all started last weekn, i think it was a tuesday, when i received the call from a friend, informing of the tragedy. i knew, i had to go, lend my support, so i finished off my work late that night, hoping that i could stay on and that at least, i could have some work done for the next day so that i won’t be bugged during the rites. i left for rawang late that night, and, all along the journey, i was thinking how on earth am i going to reach there at this time of the night.
the journey was interesting enough, pitch dark most of the time, and i had my windows down, as usual. i like the wind blowing on my face, but, at that time of the night, was like an invitation of some sorts, "come hit me!".
somehow, with the help of a friend who was constantly on the phone, i managed to get to the house. it was fairly the same as any other house, only the mood was sombre, and the general feeling there was all mundane. death, it seems, could be felt. it was an eerie feeling, something that i had not felt in many years. i’ve been to many funeral houses, not that i’m running a parlour of sorts, but hey, lets face it, as an indian, if you don’t show up for a funeral, especially if they’re relatives, by blood or not, you’ll be skinned alive! this time, it was different.
the spectre of death was hanging everywhere, but, it seemed more comforting than terrifying. it made me think a lot that day, it made everyone think a lot. everyone was just being, too philosophical about everything, to the point that it seemed to be like a convention of intellectuals that day. so i stayed back, spent the night in my trusty car, and was there, on standby, to offer any sort of assistance the family might need.
it came a few hours later. i was asked if i could go accompany the deceased’ brothers to the mortuary, to reclaim the body. He was to be brought back for the last time, so that the final rites can be performed, and all along in the car, i was thinking, again, on how fragile this life can be.
8 years of marriage, no kids, but a healthy life, model worker, loving family, loved by the neighbors, but, yet, when he passed away, it was like that of a nobody. he passed away 3 days ago, and his body was found lying in the ditch, covered by overgrown bushes, in a decomposed state. now, when his brother was relating the story to us, i quickly got into this visualising mode, trying to renenact the whole incident based on what i heard. somehow, decomposed seemed to evade my imagination. i just couldn’t picture that, yet.
after a long wait in the mortuary, the call finally came. the pathologist called for the deceased brothers in for a short discussion, and the funeral parlour people were called in to prepare the reclamation of the body. i happened to pass by the door, trying to avoid the stench that followed, when the coroner called for me. shit.
he asked if i wanted to see the body. he must have probably thought that i was a relative who came along, but i was not. yet, that visualizing part came back to me, urging me go and take a look. then, will i know, how it looks like. i braved myself in, but the stench was just too foul. the odour of rubbish cans were no match for this one. i reached out frantically for my pockets, and found a hanky that i could use to cover my nose. i paced myself in slowly, and took position to the right of the deceased.
the coroner opened the body bag, and, for the first time, i saw that face. it still had the resemblance of a human being, but, there was just no more skin. all i could see was the face just covered with maggots of many different size and shades of white/ivory. it came out from everywhere, his eyes, mouth, nostrils, ears,everywhere. the inner part of the body bag, too, was covered with the maggots.
it was then i wondered, how God was so mysterious in his ways. even in living creatures, does He embody the three embodiments of the universal way of the Brahman, which is to create, to preserve, and to destroy. too many things just flooded my brains, so much so that i just couldn’t react to the sight the way i thought i would have, which was to vomit out the very minute i had that sight.
i stayed on for the funeral, and i drove back silently to kl that evening. all along the way, i could still see his face, everywhere. i just chanted all along, trying to calm myself, and not to break any sweat. i still see his face now and then, but its no longer haunting me as it did the first time. but one thing remains clear, though, that is it was the most gut-wrenching experience i’ve had till now.
to the deceased and his family, i could only offer my prayers, and my sincere thoughts of well being. the feeling was mutual amongst many who came to visit the family. in the end, it just reminded to me of what my dad said once, that one thing remains after we go, and that is the name. whether the name will be beneficial or not to the family, depends on how one behaves while the name still bears a physical self.
